Thursday, January 8, 2009


HEY SPORT!
Sure Fire Ways NOT To Get Served in a Bar




“Hey, chief! How about a gin and tonic?”
Walk into a crowded bar, and the above line will get you nowhere. A scowl, perhaps, if you’re lucky.
Bartenders are there to serve you. Most of them will bend over backwards for you. They aren’t your servant, but they’ll make you think they are. But give them their respect that’s due. They are human beings, too, with feelings.
Don’t ever walk up to the bartender and say: “What do I have to do to get a drink around here?”
First of all, you need a better line than that. Second, every bartender has already heard that line. It’s way overused. Try using “excuse me, please.” That gets the bartender’s attention rather quickly.
One of the worst things to do is snap your fingers to get attention. Bartenders completely ignore that. They’ll only respond to that with a dirty look or perhaps ask you if you’re calling a dog or something. A bar isn’t Pavlov’s laboratory.
Another non-attention getter is banging on the bar with an empty beer bottle or empty glass. Now you’re really going to have to wait for a refill. After that gratuitous act, you’ll be the last to get served.
Don’t expect to get served immediately when you walk into a bar that’s packed three deep. Other people have been there waiting before you. On the other hand, customers don’t want to hear from the bartender that the bar is short-staffed. That’s not the customer’s problem. That’s management’s problem.
If you want a cocktail made a certain way, tell the bartender when you order it. Don’t take a sip and then say: “but that’s not how I like it,” or “that’s not how I make it at home.”
Most bartenders use standard recipes, but they’ll vary it any way you like. Just let them know ahead of time.
If you are ever cut off, for any reason, don’t argue about it. You won’t get anywhere. You are just wasting everyone’s time. Just leave and come back, (if you’re allowed), another time. Remember: the bartender is judge and jury.
Unless you are Spanish, and the bartender is Spanish, don’t ever use the term “senor,” when trying to get attention. A lot of bartenders will introduce themselves with their name. Try using it.
A regular customer will usually get served before you do. Right or wrong, it’s just the way it is. A person who comes in on a daily basis, perhaps with a group in tow, and spends a few grand a week, yeah, he’s going to get extra special attention. If someone’s helping to pay your mortgage, you give them prompt service.
Bartenders like to keep things sanitary behind the bar. Don’t blow your nose in a cloth napkin. If you don’t have a handkerchief, use a paper cocktail napkin, and then dispose of it properly. Don’t ever leave it on the bar for the bartender to pick up.
The bar is the bartender’s office. Don’t trash it. Respect it. You wouldn’t want someone coming into your office and leaving things all over it.
Barstools are on a first-come, first-serve basis. Don’t plop yourself down, and try to save the empty stool next to you for a friend that’s on the way. If there are other people standing near you, they are entitled to that empty stool, then and there. Tough luck for your late-coming friend.


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If you are with a group at the bar, waiting for a dinner table, clear your check before going into the dining room. When checks are transferred into the dining room, the bartender will usually get cheated on most, if not all, of the tip. The waiter will generally receive the tip for the drinks and service that the bartender provided. Some restaurants will have the waiter tip out the bartender on transfer checks, (but it’s not etched in stone), but it is usually not the full tip amount that the customer left. And then the bartender usually has to “remind” the waiter about it.
Bartenders also have to be very careful about not serving underage people. If you walk in with a young looking group, don’t expect to order alcoholic drinks for everyone in your group, and then pass them back. The bartender will need a valid I.D. from everyone drinking in your group.
And if someone is underage, don’t go hide at a corner table and try to pass him or her a cocktail. You will be shown the exit quicker than before you came in.
If you come in with your son or daughter who is underage, don’t tell the bartender that it’s O.K. because they are with one or both parents. The law says “21,” with or without a parent. Don’t ask the bartender to break the law.
And last call means exactly that: last call! The purpose of last call is to give everyone an opportunity to not only order a last cocktail, but ample time to finish that last cocktail. Last call is usually given about one-half hour before closing.
For late night bars, drinks have to be off the bar by a certain time. It’s the law. If not, the establishment could lose their liquor license.
So don’t try or expect to get served after last call. Chances are you won’t have time to finish, and you’ll be upset when your half-finished cocktail is whisked off the bar.!
One of the worst things to ask a bartender: “Do you make a good Manhattan?” (Or a good “whatever”). How do you want him to respond? “No, I make a terrible Manhattan. Go somewhere else!”
When you walk up to the bar, and the bartender greets you with: “Good evening, how are you?” Don’t start rattling off your order without first replying: “I’m fine, thank you.”
Unfortunately, there are bartenders who don’t care about service. These self-proclaimed “bar stars” are just there till they get “discovered” and can make it on stage or film. They denigrate the profession.
But a real professional bartender treats his chosen career as a true profession. He is an artist behind the bar. (Watch a bartender layer a Pousee-Café. It’s like watching Renoir paint “Luncheon of the Boating Party!)
A true professional bartender will give you the great service and respect that you deserve. He wants you to come back. But he also wants you to think of him as a person, rather than a servant.
Try using “please” and “thank you.” They go a long way!

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